ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I need moral support for this bender
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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