I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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