I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
