I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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