Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
