party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
