I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
