I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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