Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
