you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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