First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
