Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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