So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
