I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
