If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
should my penis look like a turkey
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
