You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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