My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
