I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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