so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
