Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
