all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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