The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
