ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
