He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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