drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
