dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
