I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
