you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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