How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
