How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
