i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I touched a dick in church today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
