im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
