There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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