she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
