You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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