i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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