I'm so fucking centered right now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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