I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
