Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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