Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
