therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
