Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
