i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
