I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize