so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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