Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
