Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
