she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
