He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
