butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
